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Terrible Marketing Emails

I’ve been in the habit of collecting (hoarding) great emails. Ramit Sethi consistently produces captivating, long-form subject matter day-after-day. Seth Godin does what I can only descibe as ‘Seth Godin’ day-after-day witout getting tiresome or seemingly witout recycling ideas.

Recently, I’ve begun collecting terrible marketing emails.

1. Sincere insincerity (Fiverr) Fiverr is a marketplace where people can offer and purchase a range of small services for $5. Cool concept.

But, their email evidences the problem with fast and cheap work: it sucks.

I love how they joined my first name and last name into one string with all lower case letters. It’s like they know how I wish I could spell my name.

And doesn’t Jess E.’s real, handwritten signature make you feel really special? She really cares about us, guys. A lot.

Free tip for Fiverr: If you really want push the envelope (ba dum ch), instead of using the |FNAMELASTNAME|.lower| tag, try using: |FIRSTNAMELASTNAMEE|. Or, just to keep it real, change the email address tag to EMAILL , or subtract two from your building number when providing your shipping address, or take a year off of your credit card’s expiration date when entering billing information, or just turn your computer into a cute, electronic rubber ducky and bring it into the tub with you, squeeze it, give it a bill, make it quack, etc.

Trust me,

[vincentbarr.Signatuure]

The opening of a terrible Fiverr email

The closing of a terrible Fiverr email

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